sometimes, you just feel that your life is turned totally upside down,
piles and piles of problems are piling up like mountains,
feel that you're such a failure in anything and everything,
you don't know what your future behold.

out of a sudden;
you're so scared till you tremble.
you tear when you're alone in the cold, unfeeling bus on the way home.
you don't wish to step out of your house anymore.

you feel so pessimistic about everything.
you wanted to talk to someone but you don't know how.
you just need a hug or a pat to make you feel so much better.

you sigh every now and then.
you frown while watching a comedy,
you cry to sleep every night.
no matter how hard you try to feign the smiles,
at the end of the day, it's all in vain.

and even the only person whom you can rely on now,
whom you are very willing to sacrifice so many stuffs for,
don't understand you much at all. you compare yourself with other people.other people's beautiful lives.you kept asking yourself why are you born here.

you feel total meaningless in life; so strenous.
that by ending your life, it puts a stop to everything.
you wanted so much to vanish in this world.
that's what i feel now.

and that while venting in this entry leads you to be a crying cow again.

where are the past genuine smiles and laughter?
once again, they're all gone.

please end the world soon.