i don't know how to not love *

drink , drank, drunk.

i don't know what has become of me.
i'm laughing, i'm smiling, i'm happy.
but deep down inside. NO.

there's this feeling.
some uncovered part of my heart that spells sadness,
that desires for more. more of what?
i don't know, honestly.

my face looks bloodey red.
i'm sober now.

my head is spinning.
i think i will cry to sleep.


which i thought i could be happy with freedom but ended up feeling so empty.