I wanted to type something into this blank space, but somehow my thoughts got jumbled up and I tripped, head over heels.

Some things are certainly better left unsaid. I've so many thoughts bottled up in that space of mine up there that I sometimes try to forget they even exist. I try to trust; to understand; to think positive; but most of the time I find myself tripping each time I try to focus too much attention on doing so. I'm not PMS-ing; oh no I'm not, that I'm positively sure. It's just the insecurities; the negligence; the lack of the little things that mattered so much; that empty feeling inside. It's just the emotional loneliness I see charging straight at me with full force.

Yet once again,
they say some things are still better left unsaid;
how very true.



i hate it when things dont turn out the way it should be.
actually nothing happened, but why do i feel this way ?
often , i'll comfort myself , telling myself that everything'll be fine .
everything will definitely be FINE . someone , please tell me that .
Things are always measured black and white, grey will never be an option.
I need some comforting. oh so badly. ~

but sometimes , you can't control .
it's suffocating, i need to breathe.
a line to the throat, ready to snap.

Things for me has been ups and downs. i remembered i was blogging happily true-heartedly a wk back , and now i'm emo-ing right here . Good things don't last , and they even went away so fast ! Smiling in a way with sadness, pain and trouble hidden within. I'm beginning to realise that im now starting to go through all tough rocky path, i have to depend on myself, manage my own feelings and also to plan the future i want. Whenever "future" this word comes across my mind, its a total blank. I would remind myself once and again, "CAN YOU PLEASE WAKEUP! , it isnt your playland anymore!" I have to face the society alone, with all kinds of people around me which i had to adapt. Life isnt that easy for me anymore, not at all. I'm a "whatever" person, which now i tend to go to a no choice situation but to choose what i really want.


ETP project kills me ,
Oral presentation kills me ,
Marketing CA exam kills me .


i'm stressing alot cos i don't even have enough time to finish ~
moreover , the oral presentation's topic i haven't even decided on any!
when i'm on the transport back home , i was thinking and thinking ..
what are my future plans ? what am i suppose to go for ?
actually i do have plans , but the plans seem to be drifting away from me .
further and further ..

lets put studies aside.
i don't know which word can i use to describe myself now .

SIAN.

Perhaps I need to shop, like seriously , seriously.
it's been quite some time i really shopped like i've a deep pocket.
shopping kills emo-ness .

once again, snap back to reality.
time to contd the ETP ppt .
i'll stop ranting and get started ...