have you forgotten me? :'(

have you ever been in love? horrible isn’t it?
it makes you so vulnerable.

it opens up your chest and your heart
and that means someone can get inside and mess you up.
you build up all these defenses,
you build up this whole armor for years
so that nothing could hurt you.

then one stupid person,
no different from other stupid person,
wanders into your stupid life.

you gave them a piece of you,
you break your own defenses, you give it all out.

they don’t ask for it.
but they do something dumb like a kiss or smile at you,
and then your stupid life isn’t your own anymore.

you tend to keep thinking of stupid and insane stuffs to hurt and destroy yourself which you used to hate people doing that because it's stupid. if there's really one such day you really gone from this earth forever, would that person even care? you've alr said that you'll give up on him and forget him forever, are you really able to do so?

the amount of tears you've lost equivalent to the total tears of the past 19 years. you go to bed late. you can't sleep. you cry to sleep every single night. even when you're blogging right now. even when you're bathing, the tears just flow with the water. even when you had a whole day of fun. even when your manicure turned out perfect. even when you've just done so many happy stuffs like shopping etc. even when you tried every means to be happy. at this rate, you're going to be blind soon.

sometimes the amount of hurt sums up to hate,
and why do you hate? because you still care.

love takes hostage and it gets inside of you, eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness when everyone's asleep. so a simple phrase like “ maybe we should just be friends.” turned into a glass splinter working its way piercing through your heart.

it hurts, not just in the imagination.
not just in the mind, but also body-hurt,
a real hurt gets inside you and rips you apart.

then you realise,
it's better to be loved than to love.
it's better to be selfish to others than to yourself,
it's better to not put in so much for anybody anymore.
it's better to close your heart forever.

i don't know what to do.
someone teach me please~

who will i run to? :'[

i need another big wardrobe ):

-added-

下雨天了怎么办
一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪 一个人好累

it's raining now,
supposedly to be a nice weather to sleep in.

i can't sleep ! ):
i can't sleep ! ):
i can't sleep ! ):
i can't sleep ! ):
i can't sleep ! ):

4.06am .

-added-





i studied for 1-2 hours yesterday night and everything cramped into my head.
3 Chapters of PR. and i'm glad glad glad i actually know how to do all questions!

i seriously hope i can get full marks for this la !!
no silly careless mistakes okay !! *prays hard*
i really hope so because of the GPA ):

you know, when you start to fret over your future and what's to come.
okay, since it's over it's over. all you can do is try your best.
you just wish, that lao tian ye above will be nice to you once in awhile.
lols.

shopping after my exams just now!
accompanied serene to town to get her bottoms exchanged.
and just a lil short meetup to catch up with each other !

it's been long since the last time i met her up !
today is a last minute sort.

and how sweet is she to get me macarons from Canelle !
Raspberry. Rose. Violet.







here are the websites' pics cos i ate them up before i can ......
(:

and now i'm hooked onto it ! craving for more !!
i think it tastes much better than Bakerzin.
she said she wanna reward me for finishing my exam today.

so i gave her a big warm HUGHUG! :D ♥♥♥
she told me so many juicy happenings man !
i'm so bewildered by some stuffs la !

trained over to meet evan while she went home.
i'm late and she's waiting ! hahaha.
finally she's got the privilege to wait for me ah! :P


she passed me a clip she bought.
super pretty ♥♥♥

went to the various cosmetic booths to do some research on her foundation before she gets one. so her conclusion will be Kose. haha. she was pondering between two, and i told her that that Ettusais salesperson doesn't look convincing at all because i can still see her pimples all around her face and patches of red dots as well, and obviously we shouldn't buy the products.

i'm so observant.
right right?

i like Shu Umera's falsies and searching for heart necklaces as well from SK.
i'll be getting the gel eyeliner from Kate, i think by this week (:



teppanyaki for brunch + dinner.
i like the tow-kay !

ohya!
suddenly : " PURPUR ! "

i thought who is that. turned around and saw TIFFANY WIFEY !
hahaha. so coincidental, because we just met in school =.=

Jocelyn is working down there and i'm O.O to see her cos she suddenly popped up.
it's been long i last seen the girls and i miss em so much, really.
i remember how we always hang out together after school or even the weekends,
with the bunch of guys in bp, and had so much fun and laughter together.

i still remember the day when we fought with two girls.
thinking back, that's so funny. haha. stupid cats' fight. =.=

and after i graduated, i lost contact with em alr.
Jiajia, Jocelyn, Jaslyn, Vivian, Yuanmei and the rest (:

2 days back, tianwei came and chatted with me, asking me how am i.
time really flies, he's finished his A levels alr and waiting to be enrolled into NS.
but here i am, still struggling to finish higher-nitec ):

anyway ! acc-ed evan to Kinokuniya to get her Popteen Jap Mag as usual.
i saw a book which i'd like to buy it the next time i go over Kino.
it's about r/s, kinship and friendship and life.

one of the lines :



" If you want to be a friend, be a good friend. "
i think it's simple yet meaningful.

satisfying buys :D
i bought two dresses, a long top(i ♥ !!) and a leopard jacket.
everything ❤ at first sight !

saw another god-damn gorgeous dress but i resisted !
regretting a lil now ):

went adidas and showed her the adidas top.
we tried on it and she ♥ it !

we gonna get it asap okay?
i hope we can have discounts :)

then. a booth selling hellokitty items ranging from electronic devices to accessories and even a water pipe which is super interesting, that i must agree.

and she dragged me in.
raves about this and that.

" PUR ! see this ! "
" wow ! wah ! omg ! "
" PUR ! i want to buy !

hahahaha.
Mr Frog, your pocket's gonna burn a hole !
but no prob on that right :D

me and evan have plans for next week,
and i have more plans for the following after next !
please kindly make me slim down another 15kg please !

me and them could talk about anything, everything and even nothing.
i love the way we would ended up laughing like some mad women randomly.

i got to bathe and watch that repeated teevee programme !
fann wong's face really shines !

okay. meanwhile i gonna do some online bank transferring.
early early day tomorrow.




I TOTALLY DIG THAT FOREVER21's BLING WATCH WITH BLACK LEATHER STRAP ! I GONNA BUY IT FROM F21'S USA WEBSITE BECAUSE SG STORES DOESN'T HAVE IT ! AND THAT ROMPER/JUMPER WHATEVER YOU CALL IT I'M GONNA GET IT TOO !I LOVE THE NECKLACES BUT I THINK I SHALL GET EM FROM THE LOCAL STORES !

❤

gone with the wind~

i skipped school today ):

being in love means wanting each other to be happy.
if two people cannot be happy, then let at least one be happy.
if two people are suffering, then fulfill at least the happiness of one person.

promise me you'll be happy. (:
i really want you to be, you know it.

big girls don't cry (:

i want to look for a part-time job,
but you know how jobs are so difficult to come by now.

might as well just laze around at home or in shopping malls and be a taitai.
joke joke la. i'd need to earn some extra moolahs for my expenditures okay.

Public Relations CA on wed,
i ought to pull up my socks, yup very high again.
needa get both modules A, or else i'm DEAD DEAD DEAD!
motivations please!! rahhhhhhhhh !

that means i hafta postpone my shopping !?
okay, have to do with some sacrifices alright.
though i know i'll still be procrastinating and slacking,
then in the middle of the wee hours chionging.

LOLS.

speaking of examinations, that spells: hols is coming!
it's like a wink of eye that weeks of school days went by.

some random stuff.
i tell ya, i really adore the person who created system restore in our computers.
it's like magic ! :D

i was fustrating over my datas in my system yesterday,
because i accidentally did something.
(which i don't even know how did i go about doing it eh?)

my user became afresh and all the files are gone!
of course i panicked like hell luh. remembered something about system recovery and went online(luckily firefox's still around phew!) searching for help.

and did a system recovery with uncertainty O.O
it's like magic ! :D turn back the clock and all of a sudden all your stuffs are back !
okay, i'm a noob in this okay, don't know how to take good care of it.
that explains why i always needa change computers so often.

bah :P



that stubborn girl who always insisted she's right when bickering with you,
who threw tantrums on you just because she wants your attention,
who bargained a few more minutes when she's on the phone with you,
who always want a hughug from you before hanging up.

if one day she disappears,
will you feel sad?

(:

back from town just now.

this girl.
forever and ever taking ages to get prepared.
luckily i had my com with me to kill time while waiting for her.
if not, hiakhiakhiak!

brought her to FEP's Sweet Slice Of Life for 雪片冰 :D


Summer Fling.
it's yummy right? yes no?

the ice are sliced with this machine into fine, smooth, thin slices of wonders.
the ice melts in your mouth and glides down your throat effortlessly.
heard fr my friend that 1 machine costs a bomb.

gonna try FirstKiss(strawberry ice) next time !

we wanted to head down to bugis but there's not enough time.
so we stayed in town around the malls and decided to head over on tues then.

at the end of the day i only bought 3 pairs of intimates.
nothing really caught my eye except for a black satin blouse,
which i can wear it for my CDP presentation if i were to buy it.

no impulsive buys alright! (:

she said:

" ya hor. should be me accompanying you buy your things why i buy so many ah? "

=.="

brunch + dinner @ Pepper Lunch (:
it's been months, and i tried the chicken pepper rice recommended by her.




before.

after.


by the time we finished our food,
all the boutiques were closed ):

surprisingly, we didn't camwhore today.
must be my dull mood. ha.
and gonna thank her so much for everything ~
you know, i know. :)

nowadays we're on major shopping sprees on both online and town.
she kept looking at those jap websites la.
tempt me with those blings.

before i forget,
happy belated birthday to my LAOCHABOH IVY!!
*hughug*~ :D

look at the time now.
how on earth am i gonna wake up later at 9 for school?

i can't sleep ):
he must be sleeping soundly right now.

你说我爱你太多 就快要把你淹没
你害怕幸福 短暂一秒就崩落
分开是一种解脱 让你好好的想过
我想要的那片天空 你是不是能够给我



i went running alone today morning,
my first time.

i dont know why i did it again.
i got out of control, i lost my cool.
i turned into a lunatic last night.

you know what?
i never knew being happy was this difficult.

i'd be lying if i said i hate you.
i'd be lying if i said i'll forget you and everything of you.

it's hard to hate someone,
someone who's the best thing that has ever happened to them.

people told me i should forget about you, you don't deserve me.
they're right. you don't deserve me, but i deserve you.

i said to leave it.
i told myself to take some time.

i really hate myself, so much now.
i swore to myself it wouldn't happen again.
i vowed to myself that this was the end.
so why am I going back to the start?

only people who have once been in my shoes understand.

if only we could make things right,
if only we could make things different.
if only i can.

let's take this step by step then.
it takes time.

if you're going to make me cry,
at least be there to wipe away the tears.

so much for being 19.


你说我给你太多 却不能给我什麽
分不清激情承诺永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口 我们各自苦痛
沉默是我最後温柔 是因为我太爱你

saw something and stared at the screen for a long long while.

i think my heart's breaking.
i can feel it.

when you're dreaming with a broken heart,
the waking up is the hardest part.

maybe someday this love will turn to hate.

a line drawn, so distinct. i feel the pain.

yesterday after school, rushed back home to get prepared.

headed down town to meet adel and gary up.
felt so comfortable in wisma that i can even go to the ladies on my own.
which is, so unlike miss pp okay!

and when i came out of the cubicle, i saw someone looking into the full-length mirror. initially i thought it was someone else and so i continue washing my hands and some pics. and then that someone walked over and say,

" zilian again ah ! "

i jumped !
LOLS.



camwhored a while before i dragged her into Bebe. gary went ahead to starbucks for a drink and i made her go with me to boutiques ! :X soon after, evan reached taka by her dad's car and walked over to find us. we went back the same places again cos evan wanna walk through !

adel was thinking: " aye these brands, waste money ! "

hahahaha.

evan went to get her pair of Levis at taka,
3 of us went to try on some new stocks that arrived on that day.
it's been a really long while i last wore jeans (except for work).



i wanna go for more shopping but there's no time! ):

over to bugis into the streets behind parco,
looking for steamboat places to dine in.
settled down in TIAN TIAN, but well i regretted!
should have walked over to the opposite street man.



TT has the least varieties of food i've ever had for steamboat,
not gonna go there anymore.



the whole night, my food was mainly the golden mushroom !
loads and loads of em ! in piles and stacks ! :D ♥♥



anyway enjoyed ourselves though.
not for the food as i've mentioned;
but it's the people you eat with (:


future potential mum in action.
right hand side is a future potential gambler :X


loads and loads of mushroom!!

walked around and shops were closing ):
headed down to suntec to find BEECHUA :D
acc em to finish their smoke and crapped again!

beechua asked me and evan go find a toilet to sing !
kns ! we kept disturbing him.



hold a room for us to sing.
got us drinks ~ honey lemon and shirley temple. (:
the bar gave gary 1 jug of shirley temple =.=

evan felt she was hungry and beechua asked the bar to fry some food ~
♥♥ beechua ! :D


kbox spaghetti. - we don't like ):



lols!
but i was damn full from the dinner previously.
craved for ice-cream but there's not even a 7-11 nearby!

lousy! boo.

anyway their ladies is so spacious !
i lioke ! :D ♥


dou ji yan !



sang till we wanna find something to do.
no poker cards found =.=" ~ then!

THEIR OUTLET HAS MAHJONG TILES!

actually we saw that in the store place when we acc em for smoking.
never thought we'll have a use later on ! lols.

the suntec guy, which gary knew,
brought the big cardboard in to put on top of the table.

me, the guy, gary and evan.
evan wanna learn so she joined in.
started mahjong-ing !! :D


her eyes damn big!! i like.

my 1st time mahjong with music to listen to, in kbox !
they said that only their outlet have this privilege.
shiok-ness i'd say.


1st try. wrong wrong !
your mouth's too high! kiss my nose for what !


2nd. your mouth too outside alr la !!


finally !

haha. we didn't actually kiss okay !
it's angle positioning ! i'm straight straight ! :D



bought this pair of gladiators several months ago and this is the 1st time i wore it =.=
that's why i say, no more impulsive buys now!!

and adel wore the gladiators which we bought at different places and
we didn't agree on to wear together in the first place ! telepathy!!
mind that plaster down there cos i've a knock on my toe and it's not yet recovered ):

i hope our NRB can meetup as a whole again! ♥♥♥



it's always 3,
as everytime sue-ee and adel's offday timeslots clashed!

supposed to go town again with adel to get the jeans,
and we overslept.

evan send me pics okay!! ♥♥

CA AOFA exam tomorrow !
i hope i can get those format right (:

♥ Good night & sweetest dreams to all.

too far to bridge the distance.

know what?

end of nov is coming,
which means year end sales are coming their way too !
shall save up money alr !

me ♥ sales :D

i wanna change my blog url or to LJ.
it may only limit to certain people (:

Livejournal's tidier but the codes are so damn difficult
(i think it is, but i haven't tried figuring it out)

furthermore, LJ doesn't support nuffnang's banner ads,
to earn extra $ .

my nuffnang's nearing $50 soon ! :)
2nd cheque please !

Bebe USA web's having discounts now !
i've asked Enna, my online friend to organise a spree out of it
cos i didn't see any spree-ers on LJ organising and she agrees !

i can't wait to lay my hands on those glistening rhinestones ♥ !

ANDREW LIU told me :


this is for ladies with boobs.


bigger boobs.


this is for flats.

HAHAHAHA.
so bad.

what do you think? which word should i get?
ignore what my friend says okay!
suggestions asap please!

by the way i saw a coach amanda skinny few days back.
i think it has been out some time ago, i know i'm slow la.
cos i don't look at coach's stuffs[so how i know right?! (: ]




it's of satin without any big Cs.
i've a fetish for satin material ♥

however there's no black though ):
i've too many pink stuffs and i'm starting to get sick of em.

1st and only item i see in coach which i like,
cos i simply don't think coach's designs look nice to me, esp the classics.
i don't like the biggy fatty C.

kinda tempted.
eww.

i still think Elaine is pretty (:
my friend V don't think so and she's so ji dong,
and kept emphasizing that she looks like a cheena something.
lols.

WHATEVER!!
to each's likings okay! :D

my ankle still not fully recovered.
a tinge of pain is acting up sometimes ):

oh ya! i just cut my fringe again today and it looks tidier :D
i hate the fast growing fringe and how i hope the back of my hair can grow as fast as well,
so that i can go and have a rebonding session because normally,
they'll trim and cut your hair and it will eventually become shorter ):

maybe the hair does grow but i don't seem to notice it at all ! X.X

gonna try hitting the sack early tonight.
i've a loss of sleep for so many days alr,
i better save my face soon.

p.s there's 1 agnesb logo beside my blog url above.
saw it? :D



somehow, something's aching as well.

listening to: if i were you - tamia

It's nights like these where you're just so tired,
but your brain won't let you sleep.
and songs that break your heart are on the replay (:



perverted sexy frog.
LOLS!

i laughed till my side hurts.
me and evan were on a conversation with nelson yesterday night.
we were crapping and telling him how honoured he is to have:
2 sexy + chio + cute ladies chatting with him.

and evan said that we can form another pussycat dolls.
and i sang.

" don't ya wish your gf was hot like me!? dont ya! "

laughs.

she said she's a frog in the well,
but i said turtle sounds better.


E: y turtle? im not bee chua
P: hahaha!

E: well im bee chua de ren
P: frog v ugly -.-
E: den im a pretty frog

E: so consider half turtle
P: ban zhi wu gui ~ as i've known. frogs = all ugly
E: the one that turns into a beautiful princess after a prince kiss.
im a rare species . HAAHAHHA

P: i thought is princess kiss prince -.-
E: HAHAAH!!! IM A GIRL MAH...SO PRINCE MUST COME KISS
P: wa liao ! NO TONG NIAN ONE LOR!! is Frog Prince not Frog Princess
E: HAHAHAHA ! kangwei = frog prince . HAHAHAHAHA

P: hahaha! cancel the prince behind.
P: (think for a moment)

P: so you are saying you are the princess la?
E: waiting for me this frog princess to turn him into a handsome SEXY prince.



and this girl do not have any childhood memories at all.
in fairytale stories, there's a Frog Prince but there's no Frog Princess.
initially i just wanted to tell her good night and i'm going to sleep,
but it ended up with all craps and nonsensical stuffs ! :P

anyway i'm deep down so happy for her,
there's someone who dotes her so much now
and she's no longer troubled with affairs of the heart.



good good (:

(no stealing of pic ! :X )

finished CDP's assignment today.
interview script and the dos and donts.
will have to memorise the script.

presentation on 8th dec ):

after lesson's ended, it was raining and i was nearly drenched.
Z made a trip down with his umbrella(he stays nearby) to fetch me !
thanks my good buddy ! *beams with joy* ~ :D

couldn't acc him for dinner,
cos i don't feel like eating and wanna head home straight.







everything just kept inside her heart.
she knows you don't need her,
and you wouldn't and don't bother about her anymore.

(:

traffic jams are so retarded.

had an awesome fun time with :
min, ling, enpei and bf, jerome, kel and shawn toh (:

jerome kept telling stupid things to me and lame jokes =.=

we did some very crazy things tonight.
sounding of horns, flashing of lights and screaming out of the cars window.
+ secrets.

it's been ages i last met up with em, or should i rephrase it again;
it's been ages they last met up with me ! :D

dinner was teppanyaki at Jurong Hill Top,
simply because i had a craving for it after the round.

the above photo was taken fr there down.
it was my 2nd time up there (:



no more pics cos i was indulging in the food too much.
i think the huge fire made to cook the food on the teppanyaki counter
nearly caught the chef's hat on fire. lol. and i don't like salads at all.

they sent me all the way up to my lift,
im having sch tml and i can't join em ! ):

Bernice Tan Xue Ling ~
i'm waiting for you to import those lovely dresses asap !
lao niang is waiting alr ! (:

VICTOR LIAO !
sorry for missing out on the mahjong session ytd ~
shall have a blast on your birthday which is due soon alright !
love.

and Eileen Goh Shui Shui :X
understands me so much thanks thanks.
damn that spammer who spammed her.

im not going to malaysia with em tml alr,
i think i ought to attend sch since i've missed so much last week.
was a lil guilty cos on fri adeline, puppy and manr kept asking me to go ):

i wanna have a getaway on a cruise on my 20th.
heading for a shower now.




yes, little things make me happy.
i still miss you.

you can only get to see him once in a week and you always looked forward to.
you prepared a v long letter and something for him for a few hours happily.
you were so excited and you can't wait to tell him how much you miss him.
barely less than 5 sentences were exchanged for the whole night.
the 1st and only proper sentence he talked to you was about someone else - a friend

most of the times he assumed that you were angry following by several apologies made, but the truth is, everytime they were disappointments and heartbreaks.

you went to sleep crying out loud and wake up weeping again.
you kept asking yourself why on earth are you putting yourself through this.
are you too naive? or do you love too much?

you realised what a fool you are.
you are tired.

this is all karma.

dilemma.
im still dealing with my new layout whenever im free,
not sure what kind of style i really want.

missing school is addictive,
i better quit on that because it really is.

im so famished right now that i can eat a white cow up!
exaggerating :X



anyway, straight after the Job Fair at Simei ITE,
we went to town to get my hp back and brunch.

dined in at a Korean Restaurant,
since shan's been speaking of it so many times (:

the food is a 8 thumbs up; me, vivie, yun and shan.
the appetizers are soooooooooooooooooo yummy! :D







4 set meals. + spicy fried rice cake!
my first try on a rice cake and i think i'm addicted to it alr !



the ambience and seats are good too !
let's go back there again ~ (:



i caught a unglam pic of vivie digging at her food
and she'll kill me if i post it up :X




ling and jo went over to YaKun,
cos ling doesnt like korean food and jo's a vegetarian (:

went over for ice for it's unique strips of ice !
love love and im craving for it now !







they have names but i forgot.

then shopped and walked till it's evening time.
got my stuffs (:

you know, the pictures i took nowadays are so under satisfaction ):
or maybe, the problem lies with the hp itself? whatever~
and the face is so shag with all the dark eye circles and deep bags.

it's been a long time i last put on an eye mask.

working tonight but i don't feel like working at all,
but working ethnics and conscience told me i should go,
cos you can't simply throw people to die.

one more pair of hands, more help.
i needa earn more allowance too.
haiya. fan si ren.

was chatting with evan that maomao girl(cos she kept telling me about the maomao gloves !)
and i was telling her about the contact lens and BEBE!



damn cool can! with wordings in your eyes.

i asked her :

" how? not scary meh the first time you put contact lens? "
" eyes wouldn't go blind ??? "

lols. i felt so stupid and suaku! (cos i didn't put on before ma!!!)
think i worry too much =.= ~

bebe has released new design tees and i'm tempted ):